What I want from you is, your voice…

As a child, i remember the captivating beauty of her red hair Her big, blue, beautiful eyes And her green, majestic mermaid tail There was kindness in her smile And a longing for something different Something more She showed us this with her thing-a-ma-bobs and her gadgets and gizmos aplenty

But perhaps most importantly importantly  In her voice It struck me to the core When she rose and sang,  ‘I want more…’

Sigh Sadness Sorrow Voice Power Pause Silence …

And there it is Voice A means of expressing desire Of expressing the inner longings It is her voice that is demanded of her  in exchange for the longings Is it enough? Does the sea witch deserve it?

What about me?

Have i exchanged my voice Believing that if i were silent If i sounded different If they didn’t know what i was thinking If they didn’t know what i wanted If i could become whatever they wanted  Then maybe they would love me

Maybe they would accept me

For the exchange of my voice A voice that is not right A voice that says things Things which you do not want to hear A voice whose quality is not Not what you expect Not what you want, maybe i’m not sure

But i know that this voice is what i have What i have to express longing To express desire To express opinion To heal To wound To chastise To uphold To connect To empathize

And i know this In the beginning, God God created She created the heavens and the earth And in the creation was darkness

But the darkness did not have the final word Nor the only word No, voice, THE Voice, spoke ‘Let there be light’ And there it was

Light Not destroying the darkness But not overcome by darkness Existing side by side There was light for the day And darkness for the night Both had a place All because of the Voice

But she did not stop there She continued Continued in her creation And eventually she made it to us To humanity And when she was done, she stood back Looking at everything she had made And indeed, it was good Very good

If her voice could do that, What can my voice do? If i am made in her image, What can i do? If i am brought to life by her life, What can i do?

i used to think that i needed permission Permission to speak Permission to be who i am Permission to own a new thought A different idea Permission to exist as i am

But what if God has already given me that permission? What if i don’t have to sell my voice to be loved? To be accepted? Because with God There is acceptance There is love

Already Without question Without judgment

With all that i am Flaws and beauties God, you see me You know me You call me You equip me You guide me You challenge me You renew me

So now, the sea witch is not the one who says to me, ‘What i want from you is your voice…’ i say to myself, ‘What i want from you is your voice…’ Just as it is  Give me your truths Your power Your longings Your honesty Your self You can bring all of it to voice

Because  You are  enough

And just as she spoke and created So i find that when i speak i can create Love Justice Truth Beauty Hope

So Spirit, i pray may i continue to find voice May i continue to find the words for what goes on Inside May i find the courage The wisdom And the discernment To voice that which is true To communicate grace To let my words become flesh

Because i know That i am held by you, The Word who was made flesh, My voice is not the last voice It is not the first voice It is not the only voice It is one among many

And together, our voices are Glorious

Becoming light in the darkness

amen.